"If unsafe people are self-centered, safe people are relationship-centered.... Safe people are empathic and they act on their empathy. "
"Love protects the separateness of the other.... Your closest relationships are, at all times, actively working either for or against your growth."
"Ask yourself...as a result of spending time with this person, am I...
More loving or more detached?
More honest or more compliant?
More forgiving or more idealistic?
More mutual or more childish?"